Well, what exactly is this. Until very recently, I was a surgical trainee. That means, I spent the last eight years of my life working 80 hours a week and learning the art, science, pain and joy that is general surgery and then specialty surgical training.
What I noticed, going through the process, was that almost no one spoke about the really difficult things in training. When your first patient died. When you wanted to quit. We were always just ok. Everyone was always ok, and we never wanted to talk about it. While this made us as trainees seem hard and tough enough to make it, it also made me feel alone and like I might be the only one with these feelings of inadequacy, fear and uncertainty.
So, I started to write. And I started to write about the tough stuff. The stuff no one wants to admit or recognize as they go through it. And I finally decided that I should share my writing. Because if even one person reads it and knows, I’m not the only one, I’m not the only one who feels that way, then it was worth it.